2008年11月25日 星期二

溝通十箴言

如何超越自我、開創有意義的互動歷程?建立美好的人際溝通,請看「溝通十箴言」
How do I transcend myself, to create meaningful inter-personal communications? Let us observe the following ten proverbs of communications.

一、表達內心的感受:說出自己的感情、痛苦、想法、期望。
1. Communicate your inner reality: express your emotion, pain, thoughts and expectations.
「人口中所結的果子,必充滿肚腹;他嘴所出的,必使他飽足。」(箴18:20)
From the fruit of his mouth a man's stomach is filled; with the harvest from his lips he is satisfied. (Pro. 19:20)
二、避免負面情緒:絕不批評、不責備、不抱怨、不攻擊、不說教;不給溝通劊子手留地步。
2. Avoid negative emotions: Do not criticize, do not blame, do not grumble, do not attack, do not preach, do not give communication-killer a foothold.
「謹守口的,得保生命;大張嘴的,必致敗亡。」(箴13:3)
He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin. (Pro. 13:3)
三、彼此尊重:彼此尊重是人際溝通的基石,若一方出現不尊重的言行時,另一方應適時地請求對方給予尊重,否則很難溝通。
3. Respect one another: Being respectful is the corner stone in interpersonal communications. If one side starts behaving disrespectfully, the other side should seek appropriate moment to bring up the desire of respect, otherwise the communications cannot continue properly.
「愚昧人張嘴啟爭端,開口招鞭打。」(箴18:6)
A fool's lips bring him strife, and his mouth invites a beating. (Pro. 18:6)
四、不口出惡言:絕不以惡言傷人。
4. Do not let unwholesome words come out of your lips: never to slash others with harsh words.
「隱藏怨恨的,有說謊的嘴;口出讒謗的,是愚妄的人。」(箴10:18)
He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool. (Pro. 10:18)
五、不說不該說的話:溝通不能夠信口雌黃、口無遮攔。
5. Do not say any word you should not say: Communication is not blabbering, uttering any thing that comes to you without any control.
「多言多語難免有過;禁止嘴唇是有智慧。」(箴10:19)
When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. (Pro. 10:19)
六、氣頭上不談溝通:生氣時不易作出正確的決定,情緒中說雙方的溝通常無好話。
6. Do not communicate in anger: When one is controlled by anger, no proper decisions could result. No good communication can come out of unleashed anger.
「愚昧人的口,自取敗壞;他的嘴,是他生命的網羅。」(箴18:7)
A fool's mouth is his undoing, and his lips are a snare to his soul. (Pro. 18:7)
七、理性的溝通:不理性只有爭執,其結果對溝通無濟於事。
7. Communicate with reason: Without reason, there is only argument, it would not bear any fruitful communications.
「到愚昧人面前,不見他嘴中有知識。」(箴14:7)
Stay away from a foolish man, for you will not find knowledge on his lips. (Pro. 14:7)
八、覺醒認錯:若自知說錯話、做錯事,在無可彌補的傷害尚未造成時,認錯道歉。承認己錯是溝通的消毒劑,可解凍、改善、轉化、透明人際溝通問題。
8. Own up personal guilt: Once you realize any offense, improper words, actions, immediately ask for forgiveness before irreparable damages occur. Confessing of ones own mistakes is the antiseptic of communication, it can defrost, improve, transform and allow transparency in communications.
「遮掩自己罪過的,必不亨通;承認離棄罪過的,必蒙憐恤。」(箴28:13)
He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. (Pro. 28:13)
九、愛與智慧:愛,是最偉大的治療師,智慧使人不故步自封、固執己見。
9. Love and wisdom: Love is the greatest therapist, wisdom forbids a person from being stubborn and self-righteous.
「溫良的舌,是生命樹;乖謬的嘴,使人心碎。」(箴15:4)
The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. (Pro 15:4)
十、等待成果:若人際關係尚無轉機,需要耐心等待;急躁,只會治絲益棼。良好的人際關係成果不會從天上掉下來,還是需要靠自己合宜的表現努力去爭取。

10. Waiting for the fruit: If there is still no break-through in communications, patience is in order. Impatience can only mess up the situation. No perfect inter-personal relationship would drop down from the sky. In order to reach that stage, one has to work hard on improving ones own performance, accumulating credit for better communications.
「明哲人嘴裡有智慧;無知人背上受刑杖。」(箴10:13)
Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks judgment. (Pro. 10:13)
從今天起,讓我們選用溝通十箴言,讓溝通無限延伸。Starting today, let us apply the ten proverbs of communications. Let positive communications develop without any hindrances.

活出豐盛 Nick Vujicic

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