How do I transcend myself, to create meaningful inter-personal communications? Let us observe the following ten proverbs of communications.
1. Communicate your inner reality: express your emotion, pain, thoughts and expectations.
From the fruit of his mouth a man's stomach is filled; with the harvest from his lips he is satisfied. (Pro. 19:20)
2. Avoid negative emotions: Do not criticize, do not blame, do not grumble, do not attack, do not preach, do not give communication-killer a foothold.
He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin. (Pro. 13:3)
3. Respect one another: Being respectful is the corner stone in interpersonal communications. If one side starts behaving disrespectfully, the other side should seek appropriate moment to bring up the desire of respect, otherwise the communications cannot continue properly.
A fool's lips bring him strife, and his mouth invites a beating. (Pro. 18:6)
4. Do not let unwholesome words come out of your lips: never to slash others with harsh words.
He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool. (Pro. 10:18)
5. Do not say any word you should not say: Communication is not blabbering, uttering any thing that comes to you without any control.
When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. (Pro. 10:19)
6. Do not communicate in anger: When one is controlled by anger, no proper decisions could result. No good communication can come out of unleashed anger.
A fool's mouth is his undoing, and his lips are a snare to his soul. (Pro. 18:7)
7. Communicate with reason: Without reason, there is only argument, it would not bear any fruitful communications.
Stay away from a foolish man, for you will not find knowledge on his lips. (Pro. 14:7)
8. Own up personal guilt: Once you realize any offense, improper words, actions, immediately ask for forgiveness before irreparable damages occur. Confessing of ones own mistakes is the antiseptic of communication, it can defrost, improve, transform and allow transparency in communications.
He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. (Pro. 28:13)
9. Love and wisdom: Love is the greatest therapist, wisdom forbids a person from being stubborn and self-righteous.
The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. (Pro 15:4)
10. Waiting for the fruit: If there is still no break-through in communications, patience is in order. Impatience can only mess up the situation. No perfect inter-personal relationship would drop down from the sky. In order to reach that stage, one has to work hard on improving ones own performance, accumulating credit for better communications.
Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks judgment. (Pro. 10:13)
從今天起，讓我們選用溝通十箴言，讓溝通無限延伸。Starting today, let us apply the ten proverbs of communications. Let positive communications develop without any hindrances.